Siebzehn
by LittleMarbles
Summary: Sans seeks refuge from a dangerous character.


Sixteen.

Sixteen times, the fallen human has made it past the Ruins without harming a Soul, skipped through Sans' welcoming dialogue, and killed him on the spot. The first time they did this was after they couldn't defeat Sans during his fight, so they decided to reset the game, and then played it by their own rules.

Sixteen times in a row.

But not this time.

This time, Sans thought he'd prolong his lifespan by never meeting the kid in the forest. Instead, he hid in the trees, waited for them to pass, and then went to go find somewhere to hide until they get bored and decide to start over again. It wasn't like he could kill them on the spot to stop all this, either. They always attacked him with zero EXP and one LV, meaning that his attacks would truly only do 1 damage without their Karmic Retribution. For the time being, Sans was going to chill out at a safe place and wait for it all to blow over.

They'll stop eventually, after all.

After walking around for quite some time, Sans found himself in front of a familiar, purple door. He knew that it was always locked, but nonetheless, he tried opening it- Doing so assured him that it would always be shut tight. With a sigh, he teleported himself behind the door, and carried on into the unknown as quietly as possible. One thing that he was sure of was that the old lady was around here somewhere, and he was set on finding her. She'd probably make good company while he waited all this out.

Sans soon came across what he assumed was a living area, and there he saw the supposed 'old lady' he talked to through that door. She was a bit bigger than he expected, and Sans _certainly_ didn't expect her to be a Boss Monster. He was about to tell a quick joke to break the ice about breaking and entering, but she saw him before he could say anything. Surprisingly, this wasn't the best thing that could have happened.

Instead of being greeted warmly or with a question of how he entered her home, the woman closed the book that she was reading, and threw it at Sans' head with deadly accuracy. Lucky, Sans is Sans, and Sans teleported out of the way just in time. The woman then made her way to the bookshelf to arm herself with more ammunition. Sans wondered if he'd ever wake up in the morning and not have to worry about someone trying to kill him. At the very least, this person had understandable reasoning behind her actions.

"hey, calm down! it's me," Sans called out with his hands up. "don'tcha recognise my voice? or, do you need to hear a knock-knock joke first?"

The woman stopped with another hardcover book in hand. She furrowed her brow before putting said book back, and dropping her pitcher-like stance. "You... Are you the one from behind the door?"

From the moment she opened her mouth, Sans knew that it was the same old woman that loved puns- Her voice was unmistakable. At least, it was to Sans since he'd been listening to it for quite some time, only muffled.

Sans nodded. "the one and only. but, uh, you can call me sans."

"And _you_ may call me Toriel, but I am more concerned with how you got in here rather than your name."

With a shrug and a wink, Sans replied, "door was open. and i need a place to lay low for a while. there's a little murderer on the loose, ya know."

Toriel's eyes widened, and she quickly lost interest in finding out how Sans **really** got into her home."Oh dear... If your life is in danger, then you may stay. However, when you leave, please do not tell anyone that I am here.

"gotcha, tori. and, don't worry. i don't plan on staying for long."

Toriel turned to the kitchen, and gestured for Sans to follow her. "Well, I shall make some tea while you are here. You may even have a slice of leftover pie that I made earlier."

With his iconic smile that seemed to grow even wider for a moment, Sans went along with Toriel. "sounds tea-riffic if you ask me."

* * *

Several bad jokes and one pot of tea later, the duo were sitting across from each other at the table in Toriel's living room. A slice of cinnamon-butterscotch pie had been set out in front of each of the monsters, along with a hot cup of tea. A casual conversation about the alleged murderer was carried out as they ate and drank, and Toriel just couldn't seem to catch Sans taking a bite of the pie or a sip of his tea. She swore that every time she blinked, the slice would become smaller, and his cup less full. In the end, she just concluded that skeleton monsters are rather odd.

"So, who is the murderer?" Toriel asked as she held her cup to her mouth. "Shouldn't the Royal Guard take care of them?"

Sans shook his head "it's a human. and i'm sure the guard's on it right now, but... i just feel safer where they can't get me."

Toriel stopped herself mid-sip, and gently placed the cup down. "Goodness... I knew that human... they wouldn't hurt a soul, and you're telling me they're a killer?"

Since they hadn't tried to kill anyone just yet, Sans was lying to Toriel about the whole murder thing. However, since it was true for the kid's last run, Sans could tell Toriel half truths with a clear conscience. "well, they pulled a knife on me, so i think it's safe to assume they they mean harm."

A heavy sigh escaped Toriel's lips. "I had no idea I was letting someone like that through here. You COULD say that it really... _gets my goat._ "

The two snorted and giggled at Toriel's pun without thinking of how morbid it really was. Laughing about it was better than being afraid, so they didn't think too hard on it.

"You know, Sans, I did not expect you to be so... short." Toriel explained sheepishly. "Not that there is anything wrong with that, but when I heard your voice... a cute, little skeleton monster was not what I was expecting."

Sans raised a theoretical brow. "well, i wasn't expecting you to look the way you do, either."

Toriel did the same, aside from the theoretical part. "Oh?"

"yeah. you said you were an old lady, but you sure as heck don't look it." He lifted his cup, and actually took a sip of tea. He didn't even open his mouth; the liquid just went between his teeth. "y'never sounded like it, either."

Giggle-snorts came from Toriel, along with a halfhearted attempt to hide the blush on her face. "I am glad you think so. However, I am much older than you can imagine."

Before Sans could comment anything witty, clumsy footsteps could be heard coming from the hall. Naturally, Toriel went to see who it was, and Sans just turned around in his chair. That door was shut tight, so maybe the sound was caused by a few things falling over.

"Sans, run!"

A small, dusty, humanoid figure quickly pushed Toriel out of the way, and was shambling towards Sans in a twisted manner- A knife in their hand, a locket around their neck, and an impressive LV. 18 above their head. The empty, soulless look in their eyes with a nearly invisible glimmer of hope confirmed one thing:

They killed everyone.

Everyone but Sans and Toriel.

With a quick, jerky movement, the human bared their weapon on Sans with little resistance. He could have gotten out of the way, but there really was no point since they'd just kill Toriel and restart if they couldn't take Sans as well.

Just like the sixteen times before, Sans could feel his body break apart, bit by bit, and scatter across the ground. Toriel was nowhere to be seen, and Sans just hoped she got away. Not that it would matter if she did or didn't, but it was never a nice thing to see when a monster turn to dust.

Black dots edged into Sans' vision, and he could have sworn he'd heard his brother call out to him. As he tried to focus on the voice, the blackness multiplied until the only thing left was a glowing ' **20** ' mixed in with the darkness.

" _see ya next time, kid._ "


End file.
